Everything. Joy, sadness, cause there was a cute baby on the tv....it doesn't matter. I am crying and don't even know why! Cause it was so cute when the dog jumped up on the couch and laid her head on my chest? Sure. Because its hard to go through this all alone? Yep. Because sometimes I get scared and want that someone special to hold me and reassure me that everything is going to be fine and I'm going to be a great mom? Definatly. Because I watched my baby dance today in the ultrasound? You better believe it.
Today's ultrasound was so much different then the first, and its only been two weeks. Last time you really only could see a dot, kinda bean shaped, and that heart beating. And you couldn't hear the heart very good. But this time...wow. I first heard that heart, loud and clear. Then I saw the baby...big head, and two little arms and two little legs. It was...breathtaking. Then...she twiched. So the doctor said "Come on, dance little gummy bear, dance...." (he calls them gummy bears cause really at this stage, that is what it looks like). And after a moment, that is exactly what she did! She moved and bent at the waist, and moved those little arms and legs....it was just so cute! I start to cry for joy at what I was watching. Later I cried because he wasn't there to share it with me. No one was. Which was fine, can't expect my parents to drop everything and come down here every time...mom had to work and all. But it was such a cool moment, it felt like it should have been shared with someone.
Heartbeat was 183, nice and healthy. I've taken to calling the baby a she because I keep having dreams that its a girl, and I feel thats better than "it". So until such time as I'm told its a boy, we'll just go with "she".
I know the crying is all hormonal, and its really just started kicking in. But it still makes me crazy, it makes me wonder what it is that I should be dealing with...its easy to forget that there really is no reason for it at all!
I've not gained any weight, actually lost a pound since my last doctor visit. But they said that was fine, especially since I was a little overweight anyway, its a good thing, they don't want me gaining too much.
Last week I was gone at a Visioning conference for work. I gave a presentation on "No Child Left Inside" and got everyone brainstorming possibilities for a statewide initiative on getting children and families back outside. My director personally told me that our session was the best of the whole conference, and they are really excited about persuing an initiative. It was really great. So I'll probably be on a steering committee for this very soon, and it is going to be statewide, multi-agency, and very exciting. I think I really impressed some important people too, which is always a good thing! ;) Apparently there are already rumors going around that I'm on the "fast track" to moving up to Central Office. Which I have mixed feelings about, but hey, for enough money, even I can be persueded! Ha!
I'll do better about posting, I promise. For now I need to eat some dinner. I've been feeling pretty good, as long as I eat as soon as I get out of bed. I was kinda sick last Tuesday, not sure why, but been fine every other day. Glad I'm not having sickness and stuff that other women go through. I'll take the tiredness and crying over that any day!! As soon as I get to my parents house I will scan the ultrasound pics and post them here.
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